A few weeks ago, I did something that scares me. It was something that pushed me to make a choice to step through the barrier of fear. I auditioned for a role in a Pro-Amateur production of “Beauty and The Beast“.
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. – Nelson Mandela
In the two weeks between being allocated an audition time and doing the actual audition, I wish I could say that I was unwavering, wholly committed to going through with the audition. I would love to say that I didn’t suffer from self-doubt, and second-guess my every decision.
That wasn’t the case.
I knew what I was going to be in for. In October 2013, I auditioned with the same production company for their production of “Annie”. I knew that I was going to have to choose a song, perform it solo in front of a panel of people, and then perform a group dance audition. Singing, I can do.. Acting, that too I can do.. Dancing, I’ve driven choreographers to frustration with my lack of movement ability. To be honest, I basically panicked during the dance audition, unable to think clearly. How I managed to actually do the to singing audition afterwards escapes me. Strangely though, I was asked to do a read for a part, even though I felt I had performed horribly. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a role.
To grow through it you have to go through it
So why did I go through all that again to audition for Beauty and the Beast? Why did I put myself through that whole process again? At the end of last year, I posted an article titled “My New Year Revolution” detailing four things that I wanted to work on – qualities and characteristics, as opposed to task list items. I want to keep extending myself, expanding my boundaries, increasing my experiences. And even more so, I’ve been inspired to “Pioneer again“, to re-invent, to re-discover, to re-imagine. And so inspired, I auditioned, with the understanding that pioneers don’t always get it right first time. That pioneers are out riding and mending the boundary fences of their comfort zones. So I auditioned, knowing that regardless of winning a role or not, my value as a person didn’t decrease but only increased with the gain of experience.
Yes, I was nervous. No, my dancing skills had not improved since the “Annie” audition. But I made the choice to do something that scares me. I made a choice to be brave.
And this time, out of approximately 260 auditioners, I was offered a role in the 68-member ensemble.
So today, if you have to make a choice, I encourage you you to choose the one that scares you. “Who Dares Wins!”
UPDATE 25th June 2014: Three weeks to go